Mr and Miss Demeanours is dedicated to empowering individuals with the knowledge and skills of impeccable etiquette and good manners. Our expert-led courses are designed to help you navigate social and professional situations with confidence and grace.
Why enhance your etiquette?
Good manners and proper etiquette can set you apart in today’s fast-paced world. Here are some compelling reasons to invest in enhancing your etiquette skills.”
Professional Advantages
Better First Impressions: “Good etiquette helps you make a strong, positive first impression in professional settings, whether during a job interview, a business meeting, or networking events.”
Example: “Greeting a potential employer with a firm handshake and polite conversation can leave a lasting impression and increase your chances of landing the job.”
Improved Networking Skills: “Knowing the proper way to introduce yourself and engage in conversation makes networking more effective.”
Example: “Introducing yourself confidently at a business conference can help you build valuable connections and expand your professional network.”
Enhanced Workplace Relationships: “Respectful and courteous behaviour fosters a positive work environment and strengthens professional relationships.”
Example: “Using polite language and showing appreciation towards colleagues can improve teamwork and collaboration.”
Social Benefits
Increased Social Confidence: “Understanding social etiquette can boost your confidence in various social settings, from casual gatherings to formal events.”
Example: “Being aware of dining etiquette at a formal dinner party allows you to focus on enjoying the company and conversation.”
Better Personal Relationships: “Good manners are the foundation of respectful and considerate relationships.”
Example: “Simple acts like listening attentively and expressing gratitude can deepen your connections with friends and family.”
Positive Social Image: “Displaying good manners enhances your reputation and makes you a more likeable and respected individual.”
Example: “Being polite and considerate in public, such as holding the door for others, reflects well on your character.”
Cultural Awareness
Navigating Cultural Differences: “Understanding and respecting cultural etiquette helps you interact gracefully with people from diverse backgrounds.”
Example: “Knowing the appropriate greetings and gestures when travelling abroad can help you avoid misunderstandings and show respect for local customs.”
Global Opportunities: “Proper etiquette opens doors to international opportunities and relationships.”
Example: “Mastering business etiquette for different cultures can be a significant asset when working with international clients or partners.”
Personal Development
Self-Improvement: “Learning etiquette is a step towards personal growth and self-discipline.”
Example: “Practicing good manners daily can help you develop qualities like patience, empathy, and attention to detail.”
Enhanced Communication Skills: “Etiquette involves effective communication, which is crucial in all aspects of life.”
Example: “Polite and clear communication can help resolve conflicts amicably and strengthen mutual understanding.”
Conclusion
Call to Action: “Ready to transform your social and professional life? Enrol in our courses at Mr and Miss Demeanours and start your journey to becoming a more refined and confident individual.”
Our Courses
We offer a variety of courses tailored to different needs and levels.
Course 1: Basic Etiquette
Description: “An introductory course covering the fundamentals of good manners in various social settings.”
Topics Covered:
Greetings and Introductions
Table Manners
Conversation Skills
Dress Code Essentials
Course 2: Advanced Etiquette
Description: “A comprehensive course for those looking to refine their etiquette skills further.”
Topics Covered:
Fine Dining Etiquette
Professional Conduct
Cultural Etiquette
Hosting and Attending Formal Events
Course 3: Business Etiquette
Description: “Etiquette training tailored for the professional environment.”
Topics Covered:
Professional Greetings and Introductions
Office Etiquette
Email and Phone Etiquette
Networking Skills
Course 4: Children’s Etiquette
Description: “Teaching young ones the importance of good manners from an early age.”
Topics Covered:
Polite Greetings
Basic Table Manners
Sharing and Respect
Classroom Etiquette
Prices
The first lesson is free and will be used to determine your requirements and plan the course according to your specific conditions. Subsequent lessons are priced at the competitive rate of $16 per 50-minute session.
Meet Ian Springham
With a wealth of experience and a touch of humour, Ian Springham is your go-to expert for mastering the art of etiquette and good manners. Let’s dive into Ian’s journey and discover why he’s perfectly suited to guide you on this elegant adventure.”
Ian’s Expertise and Suitability
Etiquette Aficionado: “Ian has spent over two decades immersed in the world of etiquette, transforming countless individuals into paragons of politeness. His passion for good manners is matched only by his dedication to making etiquette enjoyable and accessible.”
The Napkin Incident of ’04: “During a particularly formal dinner at a prestigious event, Ian witnessed a guest struggling to use a napkin properly. Seizing the moment, Ian gracefully demonstrated the correct technique, turning an awkward situation into a lesson in elegance. The grateful guest later credited Ian with saving them from ‘utter napkin humiliation.'”
Tea Time Triumph: “In a humorous twist, Ian once hosted a tea party where he managed to balance 14 cups of tea on a single tray without a spill while discussing the finer points of small talk. This ‘Tea Time Triumph’ not only showcased his exceptional skills but also his ability to entertain while educating.”
Handshake Heroics: “Known for his impeccable handshakes, Ian once diffused a tense business meeting with a handshake so perfect it was dubbed ‘The Diplomat’s Delight.’ His colleagues marvelled at how a simple gesture, when done correctly, could set the tone for successful negotiations.”
Bow Tie Mastery: “Ian’s expertise isn’t limited to behaviour alone. At a black-tie event, he noticed several guests struggling with their bow ties. With a wink and a smile, Ian organized an impromptu bow tie tutorial, ensuring everyone looked their best. The ‘Bow Tie Brigade’ is now an annual tradition at the event, thanks to Ian’s sartorial savvy.”
Dining Doyen: “During a particularly elaborate seven-course dinner, Ian subtly guided his table on which utensils to use, preventing a potential ‘fork fiasco.’ His discreet assistance earned him the nickname ‘Dining Doyen’ among his peers.”
Humorous Examples of Ian’s Approach
The Great Umbrella Debate: “When caught in a sudden downpour, Ian held an impromptu lesson on umbrella etiquette, emphasizing the importance of spatial awareness. His demonstration of ‘How to Avoid Poking Eyes Out’ became a memorable lesson for all, proving that even in the rain, good manners matter.”
The Elevator Etiquette Episode: “Ian once turned a mundane elevator ride into a masterclass on elevator etiquette. With charm and wit, he explained the nuances of standing positions and exit strategies, ensuring everyone reached their floors in good spirits and high etiquette.”
The Mobile Phone Manners Mishap: “During a workshop, Ian’s phone rang loudly, breaking his own rule of silencing devices. Without missing a beat, he used it as a live example to demonstrate how to handle such situations with grace and humour, turning a potential faux pas into a memorable teaching moment.”
Conclusion
Final Thought: “With Ian Springham at the helm, learning etiquette isn’t just informative—it’s an enjoyable and memorable experience. His unique blend of expertise, humour, and practical advice ensures that you’ll not only learn the rules of etiquette but also how to apply them effortlessly in any situation. Join Ian at Mr and Miss Demeanours and elevate your elegance today.”
This personalized and engaging section showcases Ian’s expertise in a light-hearted manner, making him approachable and trustworthy to potential clients.
Learning English with Ian Springham is not just an educational experience but also a joyful one. Ian’s engaging and interactive teaching methods make each lesson fun and exciting, which can help release endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good hormones. As you laugh and enjoy the learning process, you’ll find yourself feeling happier and more motivated, turning language learning into a rewarding and pleasurable activity.
Burn Calories
Studying English with Ian Springham involves more than just sitting at a desk. His dynamic teaching approach includes activities that get you moving, such as role-playing, interactive games, and group discussions. These activities not only help you learn and practice English in real-life contexts but also keep you physically active, burning calories as you go. This combination of mental and physical exercise makes learning English a holistic and invigorating experience.
Reduce Stress
Ian Springham’s supportive and patient teaching style creates a stress-free learning environment. His expertise in teaching English as a Foreign Language ensures that lessons are tailored to your pace and learning style, reducing the anxiety often associated with language learning. By focusing on positive reinforcement and constructive feedback, Ian helps you build confidence in your English skills, significantly reducing stress and making the learning journey enjoyable and relaxing.
What next?
In summary, studying English with Ian Springham not only enhances your language skills but also contributes to your overall well-being by releasing endorphins, burning calories, and reducing stress. Join Ian’s classes and experience the benefits of learning English in a fun, active, and supportive environment.
I shall resume painting this weekend after a long creative lacuna, which was brought about by simultaneously having too much and not enough going on in my life. Well, mostly occurring between my mine own two ears.
Too much, but never enough.
My head has been full of great plans and equally monstrous trepidation, as ever.
There are a number of projects that are stuck in the cogs, predominantly due to worrying about whether they will turn out perfectly or dreadfully and being uncertain as which is most to be feared.
Creative stuff theoretically on the go:
Writing
Stuck at 24,000-odd words, having reached the age of about 10 in my perilous life story/warning to others. Hopefully, some more creative expression might unlock things a bit. Project Hyacinth (How could you allow crap to happen?) which has me working backwards from a later date could bring about some movement. The Abstract Expressionist version of an enema?
Painting
“Itchy and Scratchy.” v3 (c) Ian Springham, 2017
I have produced 3 pieces since moving here over as many years ago. Plans for further works have been sketched out – including an entire “Cat Hallucination” series, covering the first year of Lithium – but I never seem to find the time, space, or motivation for their execution. The first will, of necessity, be bichromatic: “Itchy and Scratchy.” Rough draft to the right:
Making some money
This seems to tie in with everything else on the list; my one question, is it cause or effect?
Professional Development
Torn between a DipTESOL and a DELTA on grounds of cost and availability.
Recovery Training
Despite my many and varied overtures to the Government and other statutory bodies, apart from founding an NGO – Pharos, V/O 1180 – little has come from my Peer Training skills and experiential wisdom, apart – I guess – from self-management skills. I want to help to heal the world but feel entirely unheard. Ho hum …
Prioritising
Perhaps that should have gone at the top of the list. I have found a very helpful app, Trello, which allows me to shuffle reminder notes around my screen. I think I can see where that is going wrong!
Engaging
A Neurotypical skill that I have overlooked or avoided. Must try harder
“Which one of us is me?”A Penguin (among many other penguins) wants to know who he is. A cartoon from The New Yorker, drawn by Kaamran Hafeez and written by Al Batt, inspired the punchline at the top and the introspection. Thanks, guys!
Harking back to my earlier triptych joke, I finally got round to posting photos of the three paintings in question:
Clip-clop, Bang!
“Clip-clop … bang!” was inspired by a small section of wall at Xhajma racetrack, Gozo. It was created from Acrylic paint, a finger plaster, ink, dust, blood, sweat and plastic primer on canvas, measuring 20*20cm. The initial name for the work bounced between “They shoot horses, don’t they?” and “Blood on the tracks” – neither of which was fair to the race track, owners, horses, or spectators. Part of a joke that I told some friends whilst on holiday in Cornwall in December 2000 came to mind and the title was thus decided.
One Star In Sight
“One Star In Sight” is a brief exploration of what it means to me to be living in Ghajnsielem, Gozo. The main motif is the village’s flag which represents the sun, sea, and the spring (or Ghajn) after which the place is named. Despite the apparent order in the original, the reality is a little more wobbly, but it – and the village – all hangs and sticks together through everything. The unicursal star ties in with the title, shared by a poem that ends: “Behold within, and not above, One star in sight!” The background is symbolic of the darkness, chaos, and inchoate thoughts and feelings that bedevilled me before coming to Gozo. They are ever-present but usually kept in check. All this in acrylic paint and plastic primer on canvas, measuring 20*20cm!
Previously
“Previously” was inspired by the earliest art – especially given the preponderance of rock on these islands – and the retrospective column in the Times of Malta. I imagined the headline: “10,000 years ago in the news – first cave painting unveiled to a mixed reaction.” This piece is formed from acrylic paint, plastic primer, and papier-mache (Times of Malta and PVA) on canvas, measuring 20*20cm and weighing about a kilo, so not cheap to post.
These paintings are for sale at €80.00 each or €200.00 for the set. Please contact me if you are interested. Postage & packing will be added to the total price, so do check first; I will post these almost anywhere at cost price.
Even though working in SEO may feel like the being in some of the lesser-known scenes from “Of Human Bondage,” with Big G as the cold and unfeeling waitress, not all is without hope. Despite the fickle and capricious changes of algorithm, there is some flickering, guttering, glimmering light showing the way ahead for the unrequited search engine optimist.
Brandon Gaille has put together the “Top 50 SEO Ranking Factors for 2015” based on analysis of the top 30 Google results for over 10,000 informational keywords. The presence and extent of 50 ranking factors were examined and correlated against the actual Google results. Whilst two things correlating do not always imply a causative link – in these examples, I suspect at least half of the perceived causation is, in fact, effect – the implication is that one might achieve similar results by using similar techniques and technologies.
This might appear to be some modern-day form of Cargo Cultism (or post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy, as we call it over breakfast) but for one thing: Content is (still) King.
Salve Rex!
Mr Gaille’s five main findings are not necessarily surprising, but worth repeating as they do seem to underpin successful content creation, website design and management, plus social media and linking strategies.
In descending order of overall importance, and of degree of personal control, the following survival tips should help maintain if not improve one’s search engine standing:
Focus more on relevant, timely, high quality content. Without compelling content, visitors may come but very quickly leave, possibly never to return. Whilst many sites have acceptable, competent text and stock graphics, a truly inspiring site gives the visitors well-written, original, material that shows not only the care, effort, and passion involved, but engages them and adds value to their experience of the site, making them all the more likely to return, recommend, engage, interact and even buy from you.
Robust site architecture is of paramount importance, enabling visitors and search engines to navigate the site in real time with intelligent links, appropriate menus, logical content placement, meaningful URLs, and functions that are actually functional. Nothing is more distressing than a site that doesn’t work.
High quality backlinks will drive traffic to your site if appropriately placed on relevant sites that have some perceived measure of authority. National and international news sites, which tend to be highly rated, may link to content that you have put on-site or shared in a suitable place, giving extra credence to your site as well as raising awareness of your contribution to world knowledge and happiness. Likewise, links or shares from other reputable, authorative outlets will have a trickle down effect, boosting your ranking and ratings.
Social signals help your cause by increasing and extending personal and automatic knowledge of your matchless prose and tip-top content. Like backlinks, they can help drive visitors as well as to improve the perception and recognition of your site and brand. Social media has the potential of most widely spreading the word about your site; once again, the content must make it worth someone actually clicking ‘share’ and telling their personal or professional networks about something that they found helpful.
User signals: Click-through rate (CTR), Time on site, and Bounce rate seem optimal for sites that do well on search engines. These, surely, are at least a result of your site being stable and loading quickly, having up-to-date and engaging content, plus manageable navigation along with the recommendations of friends and influencers.
As we head down the top five tips list, we also seem to be further tunnelling into Google Analytics territory – other analytics programmes do exist – and that will be the subject of another post. The bottom line measure of success will vary for differing sites: perceived topical authority, number of shares & likes, amount of User-Generated Content, interactions, queries, referrals, or – hope beyond hope! – actual sales.
What are these ranking factors anyway?
The four highest-listed factors are:
Click-through rate, which is rather more the effect of having a robust and engaging site.
Relevant terms in the content of your pages to retain your visitor’s interest as well as demonstrating to search engines that the site has a purpose beyond merely attracting those in search of stuffed keywords.
Google +1 which enables sharing and recommendation via the world’s (current) biggest search engine, providing them with peer-reviewed quality pages.
Number of backlinks giving a measure of the degree of authority conferred upon your site and content by other sites that are held in high regard.
Grouping the factors together by topic, Social signals appear to have the highest influence on a site’s ranking. In part, this is an auto-feedback situation whereby the greater the perception of the interest or value of your content, the more it will be shared, visited, re-shared, re-visited and so on.
Likewise, the value of goodbacklinks cannot be underestimated as they will drive traffic and search engines to your content. Even no-follow links have their merits in helping raise brand awareness for humans reading others’ content. This is so vitally important as, ultimately, we are writing and producing content to inform, educate and delight other human beings – hence the prime value of awe-inspiring content in the first place.
Relevant on-page content fills the middle of the list. This really is the central strut of any half-decent SEO strategy: make outstanding content, on a stable platform, share appropriately and wait for the magic to happen. Failing that, rinse and repeat.
On-page technical factors support the bottom third of the table; without these, we would never find or navigate the sites in the first place
All these measures will – or at least should – lead to improved User signals, joy, rapture, and hearty back slapping all round.
Things that make you go “Ooh!”
So, what inspiring content shall we out online? Well-written, original research would be a start – great for search engines and humans alike – but we also need to add value to our visitors’ experience by giving them something that will engage them in a way that they will not find elsewhere. A tall order, maybe, but not beyond the bounds of possibility given that most sites offer so little added value.
Think along the lines of “if I were visiting this site, what would I want to know, find, and take away with me?”
Videos: demonstrations, lessons, showcases, presentations, and interviews all give the viewer addition information unique to your site that will improve their appreciation of your work
Images: infographics, maps, graphs, charts, even cartoons can often explain complex concepts in a comprehensible manner, eliminating the need for too much analysis on the visitor’s part, thus more readily cutting to the chase or sale.
Text: imagine that you are coming to the site for the first time: what would you want to know that isn’t already on Wikipedia or an industry-standard site? How does your product or service work? How does it help? Why is it different? What is the experience of a first-time buyer or user?
Games and Apps: even if these are given away for free, possibly especially so, they give your visitor something entertaining and helpful that they will not find elsewhere and so increase the likelihood of repeat visits, greater interaction, shares, recommendations, and – once again – the chance of sales.
Stone me! How much?
Or, more correctly, “how often?”
Online, we seem rather like the Athenians in Acts 17:21: “For all the Athenians, and strangers which were there, spent their time in nothing else, but either to tell or to hear some new thing.”
We need to keep our visitors engaged and informed. To this end, I am using the following plan of action:
First joke of the reanimated blog. Apologies for the awful pun, but – trust me! – it is relevant.
I had just completed the third of a set of paintings focussed on ‘life in Gozo’ under the notional title of ‘The Gozo Triptych’ when it struck me that joining them together, physically as well as thematically, was going to pose some problems.
The canvasses are all the same size, which does not allow for the typical folding arrangement.
The colour schemes of the three works are completely different from one another.
The topics are similarly diverse, the only commonality being their inspiration, namely life in Gozo.
What had brought about these glaringly obvious oversights? Probably not focussing on the project as a whole; instead fixating on an idea and attempting to tack as much vaguely-related ephemera on as was humanly possible. That has historically how I have set about most of my paintings – why settle for one thing when you can have them all? Alas, that way lies if not madness then, at least, confusion – even if everything is ultimately interconnected. The aim should have been to abstract one concept per work, no matter how tempting it might be otherwise.
Thinking about these potential problems, until just now, I was the only person to know of this fell trichotomy or even trilemma. If the Ancient Greeks didn’t have words for such difficulties, they certainly do now. Being a resourceful bunch, I am sure that they might have asked, ‘What Would Plato Do?’
‘There exists in theory the perfect or ideal triptych,’ he might reply, ‘but this isn’t it.’
‘How about a trilogy?’ I would counter.
‘Well, I’m game if you are, dear boy … Go for it!’
So, herewith, or soon after, ‘The Gozo Trilogy’ which covers some 10,000-odd years of loosely recorded history in three small squares:
‘Blood on the tracks’ (or ‘Clip-clop, bang!’)
‘Those were the Daisies’ (or ‘Previously, in the Times of Malta.’)
‘One star in sight.’
All these are available for sale, reproduction, or exhibition – jointly or separately. Details and photos to follow.
As it says on the tin, 31 December 2013 was my last day working as a Peer Trainer at South West London Recovery College. I joined, as a student, in 2009 and took the “Taking Back Control: Planning Your Own Recovery” and “Telling Your Story” courses. The recovery process seemed to work for me and, my teaching and training talents being noted, the College offered me work as a sessional trainer. By 2010, I had undertaken the “Train The Trainer” training and let loose in my new guise on an unsuspecting world; or at least to that part of it in Southwest London mental health services. I have also undertaken the Knowledge & Understanding Framework (KUF) for working with Personality Disorder, and have been delivering that training to staff at South West London & St George’s Mental Health NHS Trust. A path of mentoring and tutoring that restarted through IT courses at Croydon College and Merton Adult Education’s art classes took pace and there was no stopping me. I blossomed through art and Imagine Mental Health eventually invited me to run their art sessions. This was the outwardly visible start of rebuilding my life, as I found I could use my previously untapped empathy and experiences to help others. Classes and exhibitions of artwork followed, giving confidence in both mine and others’ recovery. Later the MACS drug & alcohol project further extended belief in my artistic and mentoring skills, and lead to me volunteering for the online forum that Rethink Mental Illness provides. I put longstanding IT skills and online experience developed as coping mechanisms, to better and wider use. RethinkTalk is an online community for everyone affected by severe mental illness to exchange ideas, opinions, artwork, and support. My roles there as moderator, guide, advocate, activist, friend, mordant artist, and occasional wit, have hopefully also helped others explore their situations in a safer, more supportive environment. Other artistic adventures through The Green Canteen and – lately – Expressive Salon 57 CIC have allowed me to run art groups and curate exhibitions to fill gaps in service provision for people with more challenging life experiences, who tend to feel excluded from the mainstream. Having moved to Lambeth from Merton, I also got involved in my local Mental Health Trust, helping SLaM in co-developing and co-delivering two courses or their Recovery College. 2013 started with me stepping down from a number of voluntary and community positions to focus on another passion: English Language Teaching. I finally took the CertTESOL course at St George International for which I had registered some years previously, achieving a B and 4 As. This qualification allows me to teach English to Speakers of Other Languages. At Easter, we went to Malta – the hub of English Language Teaching in the Mediterranean – to explore places to work; Tunisia’s political stability ruling that out as an alternate location. Having sought out potential employers, I returned to the UK and took up a part-time role teaching with EC English in London. A further visit to Malta for interviews led to work offers teaching there; which is to where I am heading in January 2014. The moving boxes are almost all packed, the cats are awaiting their fitness to fly certification, homes are being found for art equipment, I’m building a bonfire of the old diaries, and plans for Malta are all in place … … so this should be another interesting year!
